Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Going under the knife

I had hoped to avoid it but after another cycle of failing to get pregnant, I now have to go through a laparoscopy, HSG and hysteroscopy to find out why I'm not getting pregnant. I feel sick just thinking about it. I am truly scared because there is a chance that the surgeon may end up putting a very big hole in a very important organ like my ovary or uterus or intestine. A 1 in 400 chance sounds quite low to some, but to me that's too high. If it was a 1 in 10 000 chance then I'd probably shrug it off.

It's not just the risk factor, it's the time factor as well. So much time being wasted. I'm getting quite angry that this is all taking too much time. I SHOULD BE PREGNANT BY NOW!! No.... I SHOULD HAVE HAD A BABY BY NOW. My little baby would be 6 months old if I hadn't lost her.


Onwards and upwards as they say.

So today is either CD1 or CD2, AF is playing games with me but I'm pretty sure it's CD2 and today is going to be hell. Time to roll out the painkillers.

At least we have one more cycle to try before I have to have the surgery. It's going to be a very busy month.

The one positive outcome of the appointment today was that I got my BT results back and I am definitely ovulating au naturale :-) Can't complain about that can I? It is such a relief to not have to take Clomid anymore to induce ovulation.

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