Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Current mood: impatient... but hopeful

I'm in the two week wait (TWW), about 6DPO so over a week to go before I can do a test or expect AF to show up. I am feeling hopeful, as I always feel during the TWW because I always think "this could be it! This could be our lucky cycle!"

But I'm also feeling incredibly impatient today. Frustrated. Sick of the waiting game. Wanting to have a child so badly, but it just feels like I'm stuck out in the middle of an ocean, waves slapping over me, sun burning down on my head and not a ship or an island in sight. Sometimes the ocean becomes so wild and dark and scary that I think I'm going to drown. If only I could see an island, I'd swim to it and drag myself to shore.

I feel like such a fraud for complaining that it is taking so long to conceive. There are so many women who have tried alot longer than I have, so at times I feel so foolish and selfish for the way I feel. But then there are women who try and fall within 6 months... even on their FIRST month! Or more frustratingly, they weren't trying at all. It is so hard to swallow that. Why can't it be first time every time for every woman? The world would be a much more kindly place.

I'm sorry if this blog bores you, I know that I have lots of emotional ups and downs but that's very much a part of the PCOS sufferer's life, let alone having PCOS and trying to have a baby.

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