Reflections

I've been thinking alot about Joshua these last few days. Probably because it is coming up to one year since the awful night we lost him. I'm having flashbacks to the trauma, the pain, the blood and the grief. It's like it only happened yesterday.

I don't know. I just don't know anymore. I don't know if it will ever happen. It hurts too much to even contemplate life without a child for my husband and I.

All I do know is, this whole journey is one huge lesson in gratitude. I will be the most grateful woman in the world if/when I get to meet my baby.

It has now been 4.5 weeks since the processing began on my visa application. From what I can gather, the processing times vary from 7 to 12 weeks. Apparently it depends on how complicated the individual application is, and how quickly the BHC actually receives the information from various govt departments. The final decision rests with the Entry Clearance Manager, and depending on what country the ECM is in at the time can affect the approval process too.

Nightmare.