Roulette wheel

Ever feel like you are that tiny little ball going around and around on the roulette wheel, not knowing where you're going to land?

I feel a bit like that at the moment.

We are travelling in the UK still, in fact we're in Edinburgh, Scotland, for two days. It's great to be here, but my mind is constantly drawn to where we'll settle when it's time to end our holiday.

And because of the uncertainty of where we will live (Australia? UK? North America?) I am always thinking about the baby situation. And then there's my age. I'm going to turn 35 this December. It will be 4 years of trying to have a baby. I don't want to be having children after 35, it just doesn't feel right. I know heaps of other women have done it, but I can't imagine myself doing it. So now I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that it may never happen.