I was feeling okay this morning, that is until I went into town to do some shopping. Who did I see in Safeway but my neighbour Kelly, looking oh-so-maternal at 27 weeks.
Out of politeness I stopped to say hello, only because I thought she'd seen me, otherwise I would have ducked for cover. There was this awkwardness between us that was never there before, I think Kelly feels uneasy because she has an obviously pregnant belly and I don't.
I fucking hate this, I'm so angry at.. well, at whoever thinks I'm not fit enough to be a mother and keeps stripping me of every opportunity. When will they just fuck off and leave me alone?
Bitterness and pregnancy envy, two very ugly emotions... I really do wish I didn't feel this way, it seems to consume me at times.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
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